If you believe the rom-coms, you should have a small army of girlfriends at any given moment, who you constantly text, meet up with for brunch, and have whispered but very public conversations with during yoga.
But that’s not always how it goes. It can be hard to make friends as an adult! So if you’re feeling a lack of girl power in your life, here are a few ways I suggest for meeting new people.
Whether or not you’re naturally outgoing, friend-making is a business that requires a little extraversion. There’s no way around it: you’re going to have to put on clothes, go outside, and talk to actual human beings. If you’re like me, you’re in the mood to do this maybe 10% of the time, but if you’re gonna be making friends, you have to force yourself to try. Say hi and be social, even if you’re not in the mood.
Community ed classes put on by your local school district or community college can be young, fun and easygoing. Register for a pottery class or a cooking class and see who you connect with! Courses are cheap, and who knows, you might actually learn something while you’re out there socializing.
Many cities have meetup groups that get together to connect over interests, careers, and hobbies. If you live in a big city, you can go to a meetup for insanely specific interests. See if you can find some likeminded ladies who also enjoy drunk-crocheting and pinball repair. You never know!
To be honest, volunteering is generally one of the best things you can do. Giving your time and effort to a cause that you believe in is nourishing on a soul-deep level, and the kind of people who also enjoy that type of work are the people you want to know. Developing a long term relationship with a charitable organization is a great way to connect with others.
Double check that you don’t already know people in the area. Even if it’s just old acquaintances who you haven’t seen since high school, drop them a line! A previous connection is an instant in, and having a shared background will give you something to talk about to break the ice.
Something that seems weird but actually isn’t is making a Facebook status asking for introductions. Something like, “Hey, who should I know in ___? Looking to make some new connections in the area!” You’ll get pre-approved introductions from people who know both of you, sort of like a blind date but for girlfriends.
Not every connection you try to make will work out, so I suggest you just look at is as the awkward montage scene where the heroine embarrasses herself in front of the guy she was never supposed to be with anyway. Uncomfortable in the moment, but ultimately not a big deal and kind of funny. If it doesn’t work out, then you’ll have some funny stories to tell the girls you do hit it off with.